Rocket Surgery, and other deals

spicy-vagina-tacos:

If your family ever feels dysfunctional just remember that my parents got divorced and didn’t tell each other where they were moving to so they ended up moving in the same neighborhood and becoming neighbors

this is my favorite thing on earth

hernamewastangerine:

frenchtoastandpancakes:

My daughter has chosen the Dark Side

I’m crying.

Every time I encounter this video, I hit replay so many times it’s ridiculous.

tastefullyoffensive:

Name Improvements for Everyday Stuff [x]

Previously: Crazy Ideas That Are Borderline Genius

dudewheresmypie:

ATTENTION: THIS IS AN NOT A TEST
Authorities believe that a dangerous blood-borne virus is to blame for the sudden spike in both murders and deaths in recent weeks in and around Kansas City.  It is thought to be the same virus discovered in River Grove, Oregon where at least twenty people were discovered dead in 2006.  Scientists have made no comments about whether this is the same strain found in the Niveus Pharmaceuticals swine flu vaccine in 2010.  Authorities are calling the virus “Croatoan.” 
Speculation that this may be an premeditated attack of biological warfare has forced government officials to take action.  By order of Acting Regional Command, residents of Kansas City and outline areas are required to evacuate by August 1st, 2014.  Entry to the area will be prohibited and strictly enforced beginning that date.  Displaced residents in need of shelter are urged to contact their local law enforcement.  All evacuees will be asked to provide identification and may be subject to onsite medial testing.  Any evacuees resisting official directives will be detained.  Authorities urge residents to use marked evacuation routes to maintain efficiency.
Sources say that victims of the virus are known to be physically aggressive and show a drive to attack others. If you encounter an infected individual, DO NOT ENGAGE. Contact local law enforcement immediately and seek refuge.
Please, do your part and spread the word.  Your safety, and the safety of your neighbors, is our number one concern.

dudewheresmypie:

ATTENTION: THIS IS AN NOT A TEST

Authorities believe that a dangerous blood-borne virus is to blame for the sudden spike in both murders and deaths in recent weeks in and around Kansas City.  It is thought to be the same virus discovered in River Grove, Oregon where at least twenty people were discovered dead in 2006.  Scientists have made no comments about whether this is the same strain found in the Niveus Pharmaceuticals swine flu vaccine in 2010.  Authorities are calling the virus “Croatoan.” 

Speculation that this may be an premeditated attack of biological warfare has forced government officials to take action.  By order of Acting Regional Command, residents of Kansas City and outline areas are required to evacuate by August 1st, 2014.  Entry to the area will be prohibited and strictly enforced beginning that date.  Displaced residents in need of shelter are urged to contact their local law enforcement.  All evacuees will be asked to provide identification and may be subject to onsite medial testing.  Any evacuees resisting official directives will be detained.  Authorities urge residents to use marked evacuation routes to maintain efficiency.

Sources say that victims of the virus are known to be physically aggressive and show a drive to attack others. If you encounter an infected individual, DO NOT ENGAGE. Contact local law enforcement immediately and seek refuge.

Please, do your part and spread the word.  Your safety, and the safety of your neighbors, is our number one concern.

We Potterheads aren’t kidding when we are saying she’s the queen